Super HERO??

Ok. I'm a klutz.
I fall, drop, burn, cut and mostly anything else you can think of.
So if I ever were to be a superhero my name would be 'Klutz'
I would wear a spandex suit in a disturbing color with a big brown K on the chest..
'My super power' you ask.. Well..

I will be able to, with only my toes, find sharp edges in a pitch dark room..
My hands will be able to detect and identify heat by simply touching it for a couple of seconds
My eyes will catch any liquid coming from a citrus fruit no matter the distance.

It will take me atlest 45 minutes to get changed since I tend to get caught in the phonebooth and need to be greased out by some pimp who hasn't seen a shower in three days..
My cool Klutzmobile will be in the shop since I backed off the fender, so I'll be riding the buss.. which would explain the cape getting stuck on my ass, cause I (of course) sat on the 2 hour old, very sticky gum on the seat..
My underwear will be riding up my ass, so I'll be grabbing and pulling on it the whole time I'm running after the bad guy.
If I do catch the bad guy I will confuse him with my female ability of not making any sense. If I catch a bad girl I will (of course) give her number to my brother.. (I'm a Klutz, not an idiot)


I probably won't have time to shave my legs so after a long day of chasing bad guys I will turn static after pulling the spandex suit off.. and end up looking like a mad cat with all my hairs on end.. (this is why I'm single)

This is who I'd be if I was a Superhero..
Think I need help... =P